I like to serve this as a first course with homemade fried rice to follow, but really, you can serve it with anything. While this recipe is flexible, don't leave out the ginger, which is what gives it the rich flavor characteristic of Chinese broth soups.

Ingredients

4 cups chicken stock (preferably low-salt)
4-6 green (spring) onions, chopped
2-4 shallot bulbs, minced
Approx 2 tsp. freshly grated ginger (to taste)
1/2 tsp. minced garlic
2-3 Tbsp. soy sauce (to taste)
1-2 Tbsp. sesame oil (to taste)
2 eggs, beaten
The corn of two fresh cobs, cut off (see variations, below, optional)

Pour stock into a saucepan and add about half the chopped onions, the shallots, and the garlic. Add sesame oil, soy sauce, and ginger to taste (much depends on how salty, spicy, and/or oily you want the soup, so add a little at a time and taste as you go until you have a good idea how much to use). If adding corn (see variations, below), add the corn kernels, as well.

Simmer soup gently for ten to fifteen minutes to let the flavors blend.

Stirring the soup briskly and continually, pour in the beaten egg, a little at a time. Be sure to keep stirring, or the egg will clump rather than shred into wispy bits, as it should.

Garnish with the rest of the chopped onion and serve immediately.

Variations: At the start of the cooking, add fresh corn kernels cut off the cob. You can also add Chinese noodles at the last minute in place of the egg.

(I'm practicing my attention-grabbing headlines again. You like?)

A couple nights ago, Andrew forgot to put the rubbish out. As he was already undressed and in bed when he remembered, I got the honour of taking the bins out. On my way back inside, I encountered a rather charming creature on the patio, a Great Grey Slug. I watched it for a little while, because I happen to like slugs, and then I came inside and looked up slugs on the net, because at the time, I wasn't sure what sort of slug it was, and I'm a nerd who needs to know these things.

In the process, I came across a site with information on actually keeping slugs inside your bathroom to clean the tiles. Wow! Apparently, they can live in the drain, and they come out at night and eat the mold and mildew off the grouting and fixtures. How cool is that? Pet slugs who clean your bathroom for you!

We'll be thinking seriously about this. As I said, I quite like slugs, and I'd be happy to have them live in the bathroom and clean the place up at night. Very cool, indeed.

Bunyips are mythological creatures from Aboriginal legend. They seem to vary a lot, but one thing I've definitely heard about them is that they spring up out of nowhere and take a big bite out of you or rip out your throat or some similar horribleness. Today I encountered one.

Miranda's school has an absolutely horrific parking situation. Basically, there isn't any. I leave the house anywhere from half and hour to three quarters of an hour before school lets out, so that I can find a place to park (I bring a book along). I'm extremely conscientious about where I park. I take care not to block the bus stops, not to block people's drives, not to park too far into the street, etc. This is always my habit.

Today, however, I was late. I often take a nap in the afternoon, and I set the alarm on my mobile phone to wake me. I did so, today. However, this weekend was the Daylight Savings Time adjustment. I thought my phone would automatically adjust, and it should, but I found out much later that the DST setting was off. So the alarm didn't go off and I was late.

When I got to where I normally park, it was full of cars. I pulled up behind one and checked to see that I wasn't blocking the drive behind me. I was close, certainly, but I wasn't blocking it, and I thought, "Well, I think that should be okay if they need to get in or out." That momentary lapse in judgment led to a rather vicious verbal attack.

When I got back to the car, the woman whose house was there told me to please not block her driveway. I apologised. It was sincere. She then went on some more. I apologised again, I told her it would never happen again (certainly, this was a one-off incident, given my usual habits of transportation and parking and so on). The more I apologised, the angrier she got. She accused me of all manner of evil, including having blocked her driveway previously. As I am absolutely and in all ways certain that has NEVER happened, I said, "I've never blocked your driveway before." She called me a liar. She said that if I did it today, I must have done it before. She told me she had my license plate number, and she threatened to call the police. She went on at some length, talking about how "all you people" constantly block her driveway and how selfish I am and a few other rather nasty accusations. I finally said, "Look, I've apologised, and it was sincere. I have told you it won't happen again. What more do you want?" Well, the answer was she wanted to abuse me some more.

Eventually, I just gave up and I got in the car and said, "God bless you. I hope you wake up."

I was telling the truth to her, I was sincerely sorry she had been inconvienienced, I told her I'd be sure it wouldn't happen again, and I was owning up to it. Seriously, what more COULD I do in that situation? Shoot myself in the head? Fall on the ground sobbing with shame, begging for her to please kick me to make sure I got her terribly important message? What did she want? Simple answer, she wanted to abuse me.

Normal people would have said, "Please don't block my drive any more," and the other person would have said, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again," and the first person would have said something like, "See that it doesn't. I've got your license plate number!" and then huffed off into the house or something. It was a minor, MINOR thing. I wasn't even all that close to her driveway (honestly, I sincerely believed that anyone who wanted to pull in would have been able to do easily, but she informed me that she had "a very difficult time", for which I am sorry).

How do you reason with somebody like that? Simple answer is, you don't.

You know, she's lucky I'm not a vengeful person. She's fortunate that I don't make plans to do something like, say, visit her house some night with a carton of rotten eggs. Or put dog poo in her mailbox. She's fortunate that I don't have any friends who are criminally inclined, who I might be able to persuade to come around her place and rough it up a bit. She's lucky that I don't have friends who are into graffiti tagging. Honestly, you can't just accost a perfect stranger on the street, and in front of their child, no less! She's a fortunate woman, because I don't have criminal friends, I won't egg her house or muck her postbox, and while her nasty little attack did trigger a Post Traumatic Stress flashback (haven't had one in ages), I don't wish her any particular ill.

I do, however, sincerely hope that she wakes up to herself, and gets over herself, as well. Life is way too short to be verbally ripping the guts out of a complete stranger who just happened - on a one-time event - to park a little too close to your driveway.

I just read this story of a caver and his unusual and very spooky experience. It's extremely well-written, perfect foreshadowing, fantastic use of good old-fashioned psychological suspense. It's even got illustrating photographs.

For what it's worth, I believe that while the cave is real and the photographs are from one or more legitimate caving expeditions, the, uhm, extra additives in the story are probably fiction. At least... I hope that's the case....

Okay, have done some investigation. Yes, it's fiction, and apparently based on a short story by Thomas Lera called "The Fear of Darkness" (you can download a copy of the original story in PDF format, if you like). And while in the process of researching I came across Dionaea House, a similar story written in blog format. Very interesting. (I found that blog via Exploring Hyperfiction, a really interesting site in its own right).

Not entirely safe for work. Probably funniest if you're a Python fan, but it's not necessary to find the humour in this.

And be sure to visit the official Michael Palin for President website, where you can join the Silly Party, sign up for the Michael Palin for President Newsletter and get a FREE FUZZY THING!

Not politically correct (well, duh, it's Sarah Silverman). Also has some strong language (well, duh, it's Sarah Silverman).